


In the End I Wanna Be at the Beginning With You

by sapphicprinceofice



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Bondage, M/M, Oral Sex, Reunited and It Feels So Good, all the shit the russos said happened and then some, i'm not coping well, this is going to get more explicit as it goes so buckle up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-05-27 04:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15016448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicprinceofice/pseuds/sapphicprinceofice
Summary: 70+ years of sexual tension gets taken care of over the course of Steve's trips to visit Bucky in Wakanda.





	1. Reunited

**Author's Note:**

> Let me preface this by saying I haven’t written a fic in like 3 years because I had the brilliant idea of graduating high school early and becoming a math major which consumed my fucking life.
> 
> Inspired by http://kisekiryo.tumblr.com/post/173562012526/more-i-hate-thanos

When he opened his eyes, his first thought was _Steve._ As the world slowly came into focus, he became very aware he had no sense of how much time had passed.  _How many months have passed?  Years?  What have I missed?  Is Steve okay?_ His thoughts raced until he saw Shuri step towards him.  She did not look a day older than when he went under. _Couldn’t have been that long,_ he thought. 

“Sgt. Barnes, sorry to keep you waiting, but we can now start dealing with what Hydra did to you.” Shuri said, with a slight smile.

“How long was I under?” he asked, completely unsure of what the answer could possibly be.

“Two weeks.”

“Two weeks.” he echoed in disbelief.

“Yes,” Shuri continued, “we had some family drama last week – a cousin we didn’t know we had who dressed like a character from an anime.”

Unable to process 60% of what she told him, and unable to make heads or tails of the other 40%, he just stared at her.

* * *

 At first, he didn’t know how to feel about being put to work in that field.  It was at least something to pass the time, but it seemed too mundane.  After the past 100 years, the sporadicity and intensity of it all left him with a certain expectation of life.  Was he to accept that this is what life was going to look like from now on?  Was moving bales of hay all he could contribute to society?  Or is that too much even?  How could he be certain that Shuri’s reprogramming was a permanent fix? Perhaps he would always be a time bomb.

As time passed, he was given more information about the state of the outside world, small glimmers of insight into where Steve is and when he might rejoin him.  He never asked them specifically when he could see Steve, he knew the answer would be vague enough to not ease the longing.  All he could do is accept his situation, take care of himself, and walk slowly down the path of recovery.  A path that needed to be taken a long time ago.

Months passed and he had come to terms with not seeing Steve any time soon.  He was comfortable with the circumstances.  Then one afternoon while he was moving hay, Okoye showed up and pulled him aside, telling him he should get cleaned up.  He asked her what this was about, but she just dragged him off to the nearest bath.  When he emerged looking like a new man, he noticed a figure standing across the field from him with their back towards him.  Before he could question who it was, the figure turned around. _Ste-_

“Bucky!”

He was here.  _How is he here? Why is he here?_ Before Bucky could think further, he was sprinting to the arms of his old friend.  Steve started walking and then slightly running towards him.  They met with an embrace to make up for the past 70 something years, pulling each other closer to bridge the distance that time had created.  The yearning they both had felt for each other had been put to ease but somehow elevated to new heights and the two men were brought to tears as the sun set behind them.  Bucky pulled his head up and pressed his cheek against Steve’s.  It was warm.  Both of their faces were warm. He closed his eyes so all he could sense was the feeling of their bodies pressed together.  When Bucky opened his eyes, the sun had sunk even further down the horizon.  The time had slipped away from him, but unlike being in cryo, he knew exactly what was happening.  He put his hand on the back of Steve’s head and moved so their noses were touching.  Looking into his eyes, he saw the skinny little kid from Brooklyn he met all those years ago.

 For the first time since then, he felt like he was where he was supposed to be.  And for the first time since they got extremely drunk before his deployment, he felt an overwhelming urge to do something he could normally keep under wraps.  Bucky broke eye contact for a fraction of a second and glanced down at Steve’s mouth.  He began to lean his head in but hesitated only to find Steve’s lips meeting his own.  Though it had only been that one time, he had remembered the sensation vividly. The texture of Steve’s lips.  The pressure they put on his own.  The desire for more when those lips were pulled away.

“Bucky, I—”

He cut Steve off and went back for more.  He had so much he wanted to say, but he couldn’t summon the words.  All he could do was express his emotions through physical acts.  He let his hand slide down Steve’s body, feeling his neck, the musculature of his back, and finally arriving at his ass.  He had wanted to do that as long as he had known Steve, but especially since the serum had made it so… defined.  He gave it a slight squeeze, and soon found himself being pulled closer to Steve.  Their hips pressed together as the last shred of sunlight disappeared.  As Bucky felt their bodies closer than ever before, he noticed himself becoming aroused.  He noticed both of them becoming aroused.  It soon became unbearable, and he pulled away.

“Not here.” he softly said.

 These were the first words he said to Steve.  When he imagined how their reunion would go, this was not how he expected.  It was closer to how he secretly hoped it would go, but this was not what he had in mind when he imagined the scenario over in his head.  But it didn’t matter that he didn’t say what he had planned because his deepest desire was coming true.  That fantasy he could barely keep under control was unfolding before his eyes.

* * *

 

They only just made it into his hut before Steve began removing Bucky’s robes.  As the layers of fabric draped over his body fell to his feet, he unzipped Steve’s jacket and carefully wrestled it off of his shoulders.  He was fully exposed save underwear as he moved to pull Steve’s shirt off.  The two men embraced, breathing heavily as their skin made contact.

Bucky kissed Steve’s neck and he let out a little sound.  He kissed his neck again, lower this time. And again, lower still.  And again and again working his way down to Steve’s chest.  His tongue was centimeters away from his nipple when Steve pushed back.  They stared at each other for a second before Steve quickly eyed down his body and then up again. Bucky looked him in the eyes and nodded; Steve knelt down and slid Bucky’s underwear off.

It was hard. Harder than it had been that first time.  Bucky now understood what it felt like to utterly desire someone. Steve made eye contact with Bucky and slowly took his dick in his mouth.  Bucky let out a light moan and then relaxed into it.  Looking down at Steve he felt like everything that happened between them in the past two years was being undone.  A few seconds later, he let out a gasp and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back a bit.

* * *

They were lying in bed, face to face, legs intertwined; Steve’s arms around Bucky.  It was odd holding the place where his arm used to be.  He stroked Bucky’s shoulder and asked, “How’s it been?”

“Not bad, for working in a field with one arm.” He said with a smile.

Steve smiled back.  They had so much to talk about.  He wanted to know more about what Bucky has been doing.  What life in Wakanda is like.  He wanted to tell him about life on the run.  The places he’s seen, the bonds he formed with Sam and Nat.  The loneliness of it all.  But what right did he have to talk about loneliness?  Bucky’s life had been much lonelier.  How has Bucky actually been holding up out here?

“Has it just been you out here?” Steve asked.

“Mostly,” Bucky replied, “there are a few others who work out here sometimes.”

“That must be lonely.”

“Yeah.  But I’m starting to get accepted by some people from Wakanda.  There are these kids that like to spend time with me – they’re the ones who did my hair.”

Bucky pointed to the bun that his hair was in.  Steve let out a laugh.  He should have known there was no way that Bucky was responsible for that.  How could he have with only one arm?

“Well,” Steve started “I’m glad you’re not completely alone out here. I was worried about you.”

“I was worried about you too.”

“Worried about me?”

“I just can’t imagine you on the run.  At least I can’t imagine the old you on the run.” said Bucky in the same way that he used to tell Steve not to get into fights while he was gone.

“Well, Buck. Things have changed.”

“I know.”

They just lay there, looking at each other for a while.  They were both so different from when they first met, but some things were still the same.  Though they had lost their spark of innocence, Steve’s eyes were still the same shade of blue.  And Bucky’s still looked at him in a way that conveyed he wanted to protect Steve and gently be fucked by him.

“It hasn’t been all bad.” Steve said.

“Yeah?”

“I mean, the rooms are cramped, and not all that nice, but I at least have company.”

“So, is that the plan?  Keep running?” Bucky asked.

“For now, yes.  That’s the only option we have.”


	2. Picking it Back up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skype dates, kinky shit, and general fuckery rekindle their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blasted S&M by Rihanna on repeat while writing the sex scene. I didn't turn the song off until I finished the scene. Somehow I still love the song? But RIP my neighbors' ears. One kudos = one prayer for my neighbors lol.

Skype wasn’t either of their ideas. They had been talking over dinner about how they wish they could keep in contact more when Shuri handed over her tablet saying she had set up accounts for both of them.  They thanked her and agreed on calling each other regularly.

When the first call came around, Bucky took the time to make the hut look nice.  He put flowers on this bedside table and put candles all around to set the mood. Steve got online early in anticipation.  Similarly, Bucky got online only a few moments later and called Steve straight away.

“Hey.” Said Bucky. The first thing he noticed about Steve was the stubble beginning to grow.  For as long as Bucky knew him, Steve had always been clean shaven.

“Hey Buck.” Steve replied. 

“What’s with the beard?”

“Oh? This isn’t a – it’s –”

“I like it.”

“I thought it might help me keep a low profile.”

“It’s working.  I can barely recognize you.  It’s an improvement.”

“Jerk.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Bucky said barely holding back laughter, “but it is a really good look on you.”

Steve looked down and to the side and smiled.

“What have you been up to, Bucky?”

“I’m glad you asked. The goats started giving birth.  There’s this stupid little one that keeps trying to fight everything that moves – I named him after you.”

“Great.” Steve said putting his face in his hand.

Ever since they were children, their friendship was mostly roasting each other.  But everything changed after Hydra.  This was the first time since the war that this aspect of their relationship was restored.

“And I also wanted to say thank you… for that night when you were here.” Said Bucky.

“No, thank you.”

“I didn’t expect you to be that good, Rogers.”

“You say that like it was the first time.”

“It was the other way around that other time.” Bucky said with a smile.

“You got me there, Buck.”

“We should do that again. And more – if you want to, that is.”

“Of course I do.  I love you.”

Those words repeated in Bucky’s mind for weeks.  That’s what kept him going: the memory of the look on Steve’s face, and the genuineness in his voice.

* * *

 

Steve stood outside Bucky’s hut nervously.  Over the course of their last few Skype calls Bucky told him all the things he wanted to do with Steve the next time he was in Wakanda.  Steve remembered the way that Bucky had made him lean into the screen as he whispered it.  He remembered the look in Bucky’s eyes.  He hadn’t seen it since that time they were drunk – there was a neediness and hunger to it.  Though they had talked about this extensively, it still felt unreal.

When he stepped into the hut, he was surprised to see Bucky sitting on the bed with his legs crossed… wearing nothing but lace underwear.  His hair had clearly just been washed and was barely dry.

“Nice beard.” Bucky said.  

He had seen the progression of Steve’s beard throughout their Skype calls, but seeing in person was a whole new experience. Steve stood dumbfounded by how prepared Bucky seemed.

“They told me when you landed.” Bucky explained while standing up.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Steve asked.

 Bucky walked up to him, put his hand on Steve’s shoulder, and then pulled his shirt off.

“Do I look like I haven’t made up my mind, Rogers?”

Bucky gestured to the purple rope and a bottle of lube sitting on his bed.  

“Now,” Bucky said while feeling Steve’s bare chest, “I want you to do what we planned.”

Bucky reached for the rope but Steve quickly stopped his hand. _Oh?_ Bucky thought.  His eyes widened and a slight smile manifested itself as he stared at Steve, whose nervous look relaxed into something resembling confidence.   _Good._  Steve tied the rope around Bucky’s wrist and pulled his arm behind his head to his left shoulder, wrapping it around his torso and tying a knot in the middle of his chest.  Steve wrapped the rope over one of Bucky’s shoulders, tied a knot, and repeated the motions for the other shoulder, creating a V.  Steve continued meticulously wrapping and tying the rope until it formed a star on Bucky’s chest.  He pushed Bucky back onto the bed and climbed on top of him.  Straddling Bucky, he leaned down and kissed him, feeling the increasingly aroused dick of his friend and lover pressing against his own.

Steve let his hand trail down Bucky's torso, and carefully stripped him of his underwear. He saw Bucky lying there, vulnerable and aroused.

“Should I?” Steve said gesturing towards the fly of his pants.

“Please.” Bucky said playfully.

Steve nodded and unzipped his fly.  He reached in and released his dick before slipping off his pants and underwear. Both men were completely exposed to each other. Their breathing became quicker, and Steve could hear his own pulse.  He applied a thick layer of lube and guided his dick to his lover's ass.  He slowly pressed it in and pulled back – it had clearly been a long time since either of them had done this.  He pressed again, moving his hips in circles to work his way in before pulling back again.  Bucky inhaled deeply.  Steve did this again and again, ramping up the speed and pressure until he made it all the way in with a final thrust.  Both men let out a moan. Steve began thrusting again – slowly, getting a feel for it again, then speeding up until he got into a rhythm. He could tell by Bucky’s increasingly pleading sounds that he wanted more, but was helpless to do anything about it.  He rearranged his weight and began stroking Bucky’s dick with one hand while continuing to thrust into him.  His thrusting became faster and he felt a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.

“Harder.” Bucky said as his breathing became increasingly heavy.

“Okay.” Steve replied while fulfilling the request.

“Harder!” Bucky said again, more desperately this time.

“Harder, faster,” he pleaded, getting close to climax, “harder DAMMIT!”

 Steve could tell how close Bucky was and how close he was.  He sped up, and started going as hard as he could, the sweat rolled down a section of hair that had fallen into his face.

“DON’T STOP!” Bucky yelled followed immediately by his climax.

Only moments had passed before Steve finished too.  He pulled out and rolled over next to Bucky.

“Nice work,” Bucky said, looking at Steve “just like the old days.”

“That’s not how I remember the old days.” He replied, barely being able to get the words out before laughing.

* * *

 

The next morning was beautiful – the sky was clear and there was a light cool breeze – so they decided to have breakfast outside.  They situated themselves by the lake.  Bucky leaned his head on Steve’s shoulder and moved closer.  He felt his side pressed into Steve’s.  It was warm and comforting.  Steve wrapped an arm around Bucky.  He knew he would have to leave soon, but he wanted to make the most of it.  He thought about the things he wanted to say, and he realized he could do that over skype.  But this, this physical intimacy couldn’t be replicated.  Bucky also knew this.  He relaxed into the embrace of his friend and lover and let it heal him.

They sat there, snuggled up, and watched the trees around the lake sway.  It was serene; they were finally at peace.  Seemingly out of nowhere Bucky shouted “STEVE?!”

“What?” Steve said completely confused for a second before noticing the baby goat headbutting Bucky’s leg, “Oh.”

“You thought I was joking, didn’t you?” Bucky said while picking up the goat.

“I’ll be honest, I kind of did.”

“Well, I wasn’t,” he turned to the goat, “and what exactly do you think _you’re_ doing?”

The goat looked at his namesake and let out a small “baaa!”

“How did he get here, Buck?” Said the human Steve.

“I have no idea. He just does stuff like this.”

“You’ve got to admit he’s pretty cute, though.”

“He’s a little shit is what he is.” Bucky said hauling the squirming baby goat off to the rest of the heard.

When Bucky returned he smiled for a second.

“He is pretty cute.  But not as cute as the person I named him after.”

Bucky leaned in and gave Steve a gentle kiss.

“You smell like goat.” Steve said in response.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky said.

He then began rubbing his clothing on Steve to transfer the smell. Steve scrambled to escape, but in the process knocked them both over.  They wrestled around on the ground playfully yelling at each other before Steve managed to get Bucky pinned down.  He pulled the hair off of Bucky’s face and kissed him.

“I really love you.” Steve said.

“I really love you too.”

Steve got off of Bucky and helped him up.

“I’m going to have to leave now, Buck.” Steve said, now having to face reality.

“Okay. Just don’t do anything stupid when you’re gone.”

“How can I?” Steve said with a smile, “I’m leaving all the stupid with you.”

Bucky tried to make a witty comeback, but instead just kissed Steve again and sent him on his way.


	3. Long Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of Steve and Bucky's relationship in between Steve's visits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is on the lighter and sillier side of things. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to my friends to-quote-hamlet-no and sapphicshakespearean on tumblr who jokingly gave me the terrible ideas for this chapter.

The thing about long distant relationships is that both parties must communicate with each other and try to do things together, except remotely.  Where things go wrong is when the communication is cut off. Steve and Bucky know this all too well, although the brainwashing didn’t help the 70-something years apart.  On days when, by some miracle, they both had free time that aligned, they would try to get caught up on pop culture together.  That is, they would watch the same tv show or movie at the same time and message each other.  It was a fantastic way to bond, because even if they were on opposite sides of the globe, they were sharing an experience.  Plus, it gave them an opportunity to talk about something other than their day to day lives.

Steve had had a few year head start when it came to catching up with the world.  He still occasionally added things to his notebook to watch, read, or listen to, but he had pretty much gotten through everything that the people closest to him deemed essential.  Once Bucky was in stable condition, Steve went back to the notebook and made Bucky watch all the essential movies on that list. He loved seeing Bucky’s reactions to these movies, although Bucky’s reactions to the _Star Wars_ trilogy was his favorite.

                                   Bucky: Why is everyone related?

                                   Bucky: Wait

                                   Bucky: SHE KISSED HER BROTHER.

                                   Bucky: WHY

                                   Bucky: ROGERS WHAT ARE YOU MAKING ME WATCH?!

When they got through that list they decided to watch movies neither of them had seen so that they could be equally as surprised by what they witnessed.  Bucky made the mistake of asking Shuri for movie suggestions.  Thus, the men moved forward unaware that they were carrying a list of zesty memes.  They quickly realized the mistake that was made, but stubbornly pushed through the accursed movies, growing to resent DreamWorks more and more.  Just when they thought they were desensitized, they found themselves with one title left on the list, _Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World._ They had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

                                   Bucky: STEVE THAT GUY LOOKS LIKE YOU

                                   Steve: What?

                                   Steve: Who?

                                   Bucky: THE MOVIE STAR GUY

                                   Steve: … uh

                                   Bucky: LOOK.

                                   Steve: No.

                                   Bucky: I swear to god you have the same face.

                                   Steve: I think you need to get your fucking eyes checked.

                                   Steve: It’s a common problem among men your  age.

                                   Bucky: But you have. The same. Face.

                                   Steve: Buck…

                                   Bucky: Okay, but imagine this: you shave your mustache and cut your hair short.

                                   Steve: I don’t want to.

                                   Bucky: You’d be a dead ringer.

                                   Steve: my eyebrows are not that angry.

                                   Bucky: Not yet.

                                   Steve: JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES DON’T YOU DARE MESS WITH MY EYEBROWS

                                   Bucky: Fine okay.  But honestly, I think that should be your next look. 

                                   Steve: I’m trying to blend in.

                                   Bucky: That’s the thing.  You’ll scare the shit out of everyone so badly they won’t look at you long enough to recognize you.

                                   Steve: Please… I am begging you.

Later, Steve found an opportunity to make fun of Bucky and seized the moment.

                                   Steve: Hey look, Buck, someone almost as bad at putting on eyeliner as you are.

                                   Bucky: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU IT WAS BLACK CAMOFLAGE WAR PAINT???

                                   Steve: WHY CAN’T YOU ADMIT YOU WERE BRAINWASHED INTO THINKING PUTTING ON EYELINER IN A MOVING VEHICAL WAS A GOOD IDEA??

                                   Bucky: FUCK YOU.

He wouldn’t let it go - it was too funny of a sore spot.

                                   Steve: Hey look, your eyeliner twin is back.

                                   Bucky: I’m turning you in to the feds.

                                   Bucky: Also who is she?

                                   Bucky: What is her purpose here?

                                   Steve: … I never thought about that…

                                   Steve: I guess we’ll find out.

                                   Bucky: OH, SO THAT’S WHY.

                                   Steve: YES.

                                   Bucky: Hey Steve, are you a bit bi-furious?

                                   Steve: A bit? Are you forgetting why I’m a fugitive?

                                   Bucky: I love my stupid bi-furious boyfriend.

                                   Steve: It was still eyeliner.

                                   Bucky: JUMP BACK INTO THE ICE.

* * *

 

The last time they Skyped, they decided they would play a little game during their next call.  When that next call came around, it was evident the moment they connected that they were going to take this very seriously.

“You must be dying in the heat, Bucky.  That keen to win, huh?” Steve said referring to the layers of robes Bucky was wearing.

 “You are so full shit.  I can tell you’re wearing three shirts.”

“You got me there.”

“What a shame.  Good ol’ Captain America has strayed so far from the light.” Bucky said teasingly.

“Oh, fuck you.”

“That’s the spirit,” Bucky smiled and then continued, “now let’s get started.”

“Alright,” Steve said pulling a deck of cards out of his pocket, “but how are we gonna do this? I mean in terms of the value of face cards and aces.”

“Uh. Ace one, Jack eleven, Queen and King twelve?”

“That works.”

“Shall we start?”

“Okay,” Steve said drawing a card, “five.”

“Higher.”

“I’m gonna agree with you on that.”

Steve flipped over another card and instantly started laughing.

“Two.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No,” Steve said waving the card at Bucky, “I’m not. Time to strip.”

So both men removed their outer layer.  This did not, however, any difference visually.  They were still very much over dressed for their conditions.

“Alright,” Bucky started, “this next one is going to be higher.”

“It better be – eight.”

“Good.  Okay, I am going to say higher again.”

“And I’m going to say lower.”

Steve flipped over a ten. Bucky cracked up, and Steve let out a sigh before pulling off his second t-shirt.

“This next one is clearly going to be lower.” Bucky said with complete confidence.

“Alright.  Just because you said that, I’m going to say higher.”

Much to both of their surprises, Steve flipped over a Queen.  They both stared at each other unable to process what just happened before Bucky pulled off another robe.

“Lower?” Bucky said hesitantly.

“Yeah.”

Steve proceeded to flip over a King.

“What are we supposed to do if we get a card of the same value again, Steve?”

“I think… I think we forgot to discuss that.”

“We’re so stupid.”

“Strip?”

“Strip…”

At this point Steve was out of shirts, and Bucky was out of robes.  This left Bucky with a shirt and pants, so he was actually wearing a normal amount of clothing.  They both agreed that the next card would be lower, and a six was turned over.  Bucky expected the next card to be higher, but it was a four.  He smiled as he slowly took his shirt off. _He looks amazing_ Steve thought noting the definition of Bucky’s stomach.  He felt himself getting hard.  He wished he had also guessed wrong.

“Lower.” Steve said.

“Uh, Steve?”

“I know what I said.”

Steve flipped over a nine, stared into Bucky’s eyes and continued to make eye contact while removing his pants.  Bucky followed Steve’s lead and also took off his pants too.  They both sat half naked, staring at their computer screens.  They could only see the other person from the torso up.

“So what happens now?” Bucky asked.

“I think we both know what happens now.” Steve said lowering his hand out of frame.

“I wish you were here with me.” Bucky said once again following Steve’s lead.

Soon, both men were on the verge of climax, telling each other their fantasies for their next meeting.  Only a few minutes passed before both came. 

“I wish I were there to hold you.” Steve said.

“Me too,” Bucky agreed, “I could really use a kiss from you.”

“Next time when I see you.”

“Okay.  Next time.”

They knew the next time would be soon – within the next month.  But that didn’t feel soon enough.  They both wanted so desperately wanted to be able to hold the other.  It had been too many months since they had had that type of physical contact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the last of this fic. But worry not, Stucky shippers, there will be more Stucky from me in the future.


End file.
